I've learned a lot about myself over the last few years.
I've tested my limits and realized I'm more capable than I thought I was. I've accomplished things at bootcamp, while running and when participating in other sports I never thought I could excel at.
I'm dedicated to things I put my mind to for work and at play. Proof in the way I step up to challenges in work and play.
My willpower does exist, at times I've given up sugar, alcohol and unhealthy eating for periods at a time.
I'm also healthier than I ever thought I would be. I've proved to myself my body can be normal if I treat it well by eating healthy and working out.
Looking back, I'm trying to remember why I started on this path and what is going to push me further, past the limits I ever thought possible.
In 2012 I started working out, simply to prove that I wasn't healthy enough to do it, because that's what I was led to believe, that my body would never be normal or as capable as others. Once I started, I quickly realized how good it felt and how capable I really was. When I started to see success, weight loss and personal goals achieved, I started working harder to lose more and to reshape my body. Once I was at a point I was happy with, I started telling myself it was just simply to be healthy, but that quickly turned into seeing if I could start to heal my body and push past the next set of goals I set for myself.
Today I'm not sure exactly why I continue to do it, except for the fact I know how good I feel and how much I have changed and improved, mind and body over the last 4 years.
After all I've learned and all I've accomplished, why do I still feel like I have so far to go? Why can't I be happy with working hard? Why do I fall back into unhealthy eating patterns when I know better? How can I still hate parts of my body?
There are so many things I'm still trying to work thru...but the one thing I know, regardless of my flaws, my dreams and my goals; I'm never going to be "perfect" but it's perfectly fine to be me.
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