Achieving a Goal

No matter what kind of goal I set for myself, I'm never truly happy when I achieve it.  I seem to live my life always wanting more!

When I started running I wanted to be able to run 5k straight, the day I finally did it I complained about how long it took.  I set my next goal within five minutes of celebrating my accomplishment and the joy of my success was quickly replaced by my new desire to improve my time.  Since then I've changed my goals and adjusted my times more than half a dozen times.

Last year I decided I needed to shave 10 shots off my average in golf by the end of the season, I managed to do that on a consistent basis and ended the season proud of my accomplishments, but wanting more.  This year I've improved even more and have become more consistent.  My goal for this year was to break 45 on 9 holes.  I've been close a few times but my nerves gave kicked in and my mental game has been affected.  Today, heading into the last par 3 I was sitting at 38...the pressure was huge, and I struggled a bit but I walked away with a 43...best game of my life!  Crazy me...all I could think about were the 5 obvious bad hits and missed putts...I could have shot under 40!

My new goal...to be happy and celebrate when I actually hit my targets and achieve my goals.   Little things in life are worth celebrating...there is always tomorrow to set in place a new plan of attack!  So for now, I'm going to bed with a smile on my face and a pat on my back for all the awesome things I've accomplished this year already :)

What have you done lately that should make you proud?

Listen to the Message

Lately I have worked hard to keep busy.  Being active on a daily basis.  I look forward to all of the activities I participate in and feel guilty if I don't do at least two things everyday.  I justify my crazy behaviour by the fact that I love to do many different things and I never stress my body by doing the same thing multiple days in a row.

As scheduled and planned as I like my life to be, sometimes fitting everything in is very difficult.  I love when life happens for me and makes my decisions much easier.  Yesterday I felt guilty for not doing anything active all day, I enjoyed time with family and a little bit of relaxation.  I was just about to head to bed, disappointed in my lack of motivation to go out and run, when I got a text asking me to go for a walk.  Not only did I get an hour of exercise in after all, I had a wonderful chat with a great friend.

Today was the opposite.  I had a wonderful, active start to the morning and had plans to finish the night with either a game of golf, a yoga class or a run.  An impromptu 15 minute nap robbed me of the chance to make the yoga class, and a beautiful storm rolled in wrecking my backup golf plan!  Just when I thought things were good, and a run was a good idea before bed, another storm rolled in.

I think maybe that was natures way of telling me to take it easy!  Sometimes there is nothing better than when  decisions are made for you...looks like I may make my early bedtime after all!!  Bonus, aside from a healthy active lifestyle, a good night sleep may just help improve my mood!

I'm a strong believer that things happen for a reason...big or small...insignificant or important...life happens, listen to the messages sent your way.

Perfecting the Art of Relaxation

I think I have found my biggest challenge in life...the Art of Relaxation.  I'm wired to go 24/7...if I'm not busy doing something, I'm busy thinking about stuff I should be doing.  Those who know me, know I don't sit still well and it is virtually impossible for me to do nothing.  

I'm not sure if my problem is genetic, environmental or learned, but I do know that my inability to focus on one task has actually improved my life in some areas.  My husband my argue that my tendency to never sit still, or let him sit still without questioning him is a problem, he would also admit that it helps us get a lot of stuff done in short periods of time.

My desk is a mess, my interests at work are wide ranging and my desire to help others keeps me on my toes.  I love to be in the know, to learn as much as I can, and to assist in any way possible.  I'm never afraid to take on a new task, to encourage others to get involved and to push past limits that I don't want to admit exist.  My inability to relax at work makes my days fly by, for the most part in an enjoyable fashion.

Never being able to sit still means that while we are cooking dinner, I'm also cleaning the house, doing the laundry and planning the month ahead.  When we actually do get to sit down to watch a couple hours of television every week or so, I spend the time researching online, being crafty or writing blogs.  I can't think of the last time I actually sat through a movie without being engaged in another task. Of all the technology in my house, I have to say my television is the thing I could live without!

My new found love of activity tends to take up a lot of my time, but I still manage to work many aspects into my activities.  I use my time at golf, bootcamp and volleyball to socialize.  I have some of the best conversations with a good friend when we are out walking.  I use my running and bike riding time to enjoy  music and to think.  Some of my best ideas, dreams and goal setting happen when I'm busy working out.  The best way to spend time with my family is being active, playing baseball, swimming, bike riding and enjoying time together.

My evening bedtime rituals are also usually multi tasked.  I spend half an hour before bed in a combination of surfing the internet, catching up on my emails and attempting to read.  I never seem to be able to find enough time in the day to get it all done.

In the last couple months I think I may have found a way to calm my mind, to focus on the now and to begin perfecting the Art of Relaxation.  My experience with meditation, and my new found enjoyment of yoga has taught me how to focus my mind, to slow down my body, and to enjoy the moment.  I'm looking forward to continuing this new practice...I just need to figure out a way to fit it all in!

The best thing I have learned about myself based on my lack of ability to sit still, is that I love to be involved. I am the happiest, the most relaxed and in touch with other people when I have the chance to be as busy as I want.  Next time you see me, running around like a chicken with my head cut off, realize I'm actually in my element and actually wouldn't want it any other way!

For me, perfecting the Art of Relaxation simply means finding a way to fit everything I love into my life...making sure I have a smile on my face while I'm doing it.  What does the Art of Relaxation look like for you?

Be an Inspiration

Have you ever been in a position where nothing you feel you can do is right?  When it seems like the stars have aligned against you in every way possible?  Have you ever felt like you are totally alone in the world?

No doubt that at some point in life, everyone has felt this way.  Whether it was a small issue that brought you down for a short period of time, or a life changing event that felt like it would never change, the feeling of being alone and tiny in a big world can be a game changer.

Have you ever looked around and wished you had it "as good" as others?  Have you wished for their luck in careers, finances or life in general?  Has watching someone else's "perfect" life happen in front of you made you dislike the person for a period of time?

How is it that when faced with conflict, issues or problems we can't seem to accept that in the moment maybe we are getting exactly what we have set ourselves up for, or the problem we deserved based on our actions?  It is way easier be jealous, to place blame or even hate others for the things we lack and the decisions that we make.

If the mirror could be reversed, it would be astounding the number of people who perceive you in the same way.  They are jealous of your positive qualities, perceive that luck is on your side and wish that for a period of time their life was as perfect as yours.

It is perfectly fine to have a life that appears envious, to project a sense of confidence and happiness.  An important thing to remember is that at times, life gets everyone down.  Next time you find yourself judging someone else, and projecting your unhappiness or displeasure with their successes, remember that life isn't easy.  Even the most perfect people have issues they are dealing with.  Chances are, if you took a few seconds to look behind you, someone is hanging in your shadow judging you in the same way.

Next time jealousy takes a step into your life, make a change.  It doesn't make sense to be jealous of what you don't know.  If you admire the life someone else leads, simply change your attitude and behaviour to mimic them.  Be an inspiration...push through the tough, admire your accomplishments and project your happiness onto others.  Not only will you feel better, that person in your shadow may learn something too!

Step outside your Comfort Zone

All too often we get stuck in ruts.  We get comfortable with who we are, what we do and how we spend our time.  Without challenges or changes our lives become boring and our attitudes usually reflect our displeasure.  Sometimes we don't even realize we have issues until someone comments on your behaviours or your lack of interest.

I  have promised myself over the last few years that I won't back down from a challenge...no matter how crazy or time consuming it may be.  In order to figure out who I am and what I like I had to start doing things differently.  It sounds crazy but every few weeks I like to shake things up.  Whether the shake up is simply reading a different type of book, watching a movie I don't think I will like, or trying an activity I have never done, I have rarely been disappointed!

In the last few years I have really started experimenting with food too.  I vowed that I would never turn anything down, I don't have to like it, just try it.  The result...a whole new world for me, full of amazing tastes and healthier choices that have added to my change.  I don't know how it has happened but I now love things I used to hate...it is amazing what an open mind can do.

I have had the opportunity to travel a lot in the past few years as well and I never turn down a chance to see something new.  I have a new found desire to travel everywhere and my travel wishlist is starting to become overwhelming.  In an ideal world I would win the lottery and simply spend time in various places of the world.  Travelling, no matter how far we go, has reminded me just how amazing and enormous the world really is.  It reminds me that in the whole scheme of life I am a minor, almost insignificant piece.

Saying yes to new challenges and activities has also shown me how small the world is.  Everywhere I go, everything I do I manage to meet people who share similar interests, who know people I know.  It is absolutely amazing to be far from home and meet someone who has a connection to your personal community or interests.

My world has changed for the better.  Interesting opportunities, a healthier lifestyle and growing sense of who I am...all a result of taking that step outside my comfort zone!  What would you try today that just may change your life?

Simplify your Life

For most of my life, I have done what I thought I needed to do.  My actions, my thoughts and my feelings were all a direct result of other people in my life.  I have started to change my views on life, become honest about my interests and focus on a life that makes me happy.  This process has been lengthy, and not an easy one!

It has taken me many years but I have finally learned to say the word NO.  I have learned that it is ok to not be involved in activities that don't truly make you happy, that don't align with plans you have for yourself.  It is better to be true to yourself and unique!

I have also spent most of my life accumulating stuff I don't need.  Earlier this year when the basement flooded it also gave me a chance to simplify my life in a physical aspect.  I eliminated a lot of  'stuff' from my life and noticed a lighter feeling after it was removed from my home.  I don't feel the need to have what everyone else has any more, to do what everyone else is doing, or to value what others value.

I am my own person...I'm going to celebrate being me...as strange and weird as that may be!

Being Proactive...Imagine That!

After 16 years of struggling with Crohn's disease, chronic pain and side effects of having my intestine removed I was unlucky enough to have both my family doctor and my specialist retire in the same year.  Unsure of what to do and how this was going to affect my treatment or future issues, I searched out a new doctor.  Based on a bad track record for health, my expectations were not exactly at their highest.  

I was so excited the first time I met my new doctor and he told me he needed to get his own picture of my health as opposed to reading records and basing our decisions on past knowledge.  After a few years of inconsistent treatment for my ailments, lack of iron stores and frustration with my lack of good health, I found someone who wanted to make things better.

Timing of this meeting couldn't be better.  After a few diagnostic tests and just a few months into my new found addiction to being active, my new doctor agreed to fix me up.  Frequent iron treatments, paired with my healthy eating and addiction to activity have given me more energy and happiness than I have had in years.  In fact, until the last year,  I can't ever remember being able to stay awake all day, or to have energy to do what ever I want, whenever I want.

Thanks to stable blood levels, improved health and a noticeable increase in happiness, I am now the best I have ever been.  Being proactive, a new concept for me in the last year is absolutely amazing.  I'm learning to take this concept and apply it to other areas of my life. My new theory simply questions how is it possible to complain about anything if you haven't taken steps to ensure problems and issues don't arise in the first place?

What could you do to improve your life, simply by being proactive instead of reactive?

Golf...It's more than just a Game.

When Darren and I started dating he attempted to get me interested in the game of golf.  I enjoyed our afternoons on the course, but from the start the game was a love, hate relationship.  Even back in the day, one good shot outshone the thirty bad ones.

As the years have gone on, we have increased the frequency of our golf games and as a result I have noticed much improvement in my game.  My improved scores are a direct result of lots of practice, improved patience and the need for self improvement that takes over when I step on the course.

We decided to involve our kids in the game of golf right from the time they could walk.  For the last two years we have golfed on average of 4 days a week. We hope to continue this tradition we have with the kids for many years to come and are very grateful for the staff at the course who welcome our kids and encourage them every time they see them.

For our family, the game of golf is not just a way to spend time together.  We have noticed that  both of the kids have more respect, self confidence and patience then other children their age.  They enjoy challenges we put before them and are competitive with themselves and their improvement on a regular basis.  Although our focus is not to create a pair of golfing super stars, the kids have naturally become good at the game!

Sometimes finding ways to teach our children how to be confident, respectful members of society is difficult. We got lucky...Golf is helping us do just that!

A Life Worth Living

Life can pull you in many directions.  Goals and dreams are great to have, but sometimes reality tends to get in the way.  Choices we make can affect how we get involved in our own life, and the lives of those closest to us.  Expectations that others have for you sometimes make us choose paths we are not completely comfortable taking.

All too often, when the path is muddy or unclear, the pressure and stress we feel can overwhelm us.  This stress can affect our health and more importantly our happiness.  Anyone who has ever been encouraged to do things they we not comfortable with or to be involved in activities that they don't truly enjoy will be able to relate to the heavy feelings and general unhappiness that goes along with it.  

Not that long ago, a wise friend reminded me that it was, in fact, ok to be happy.  It is acceptable to be completely  satisfied with how our lives are progressing and how the events that are unfolding, despite anyone else's opinions or beliefs. We don't always need to feel like we must impress others, involve ourselves in everything and as a result pass by the happiness that simplicity can bring.

I'm beginning to realize that the key to my happiness is simply doing things that make me happy!  Finding my interests, setting my own goals and not caring how unrealistic  or crazy they may seem to others is my new priority.  It is ok to have a successful career, a life full of great friends, and an amazing family.  It is also acceptable to be overly accommodating, obsessive compulsive, health obsessed and a tad bit wacky.  Without these traits I don't think I could continue my path down this crazy road called life, on track to a life worth living.  

Be your biggest fan, the world is full people who want to bring you down to validate themselves.  Just remember, anyone who works to bring you down is simply rock on your path.  Keep on walking and tell yourself "It is great to be me...I deserve to be happy!"  What would you do to be happy if the opinions of others were not a concern? 

 

Clearly not Perfect

Inspired by my early morning realization that I hadn't scheduled a post to be released in time for not one, but two days, I decided to remind myself that no one is perfect!  Overcoming fears, manipulating setbacks and admitting your faults are great first steps to rectify things gone wrong.

Any challenge you set in your path is bound to be delayed or at risk at some point.  Choose to dust yourself off, jump back in and attack the goal again.

As disappointed I am I missed two days in my challenge, I'm going to overcome by doubling up my posts and reflecting on the wonderful evening I spent in the moment, with my son, at the golf course.

Learn from your setbacks, live in the moment and set your plan back in motion.  How do you react when your plans fall off track?

Define your Dreams

Everyone has dreams, things they wish they could do and places they want to visit.  Dreams can be anything, simple to achieve, possible to happen with effort, or completely unrealistic.  The difference between who carries these dreams throughout their life and those who actually see their dreams come true is simply taking those dreams and putting them into motion.

A couple years ago I started to assemble my Vision Board.  A picture display of the things I wanted out of life.  I decided to focus on 5 areas of my life that were most important to me at that time.  I chose to focus on Family, Health, Financial, Travel and Career.  I began collecting pictures and statements that meant things to me in each area. I then arranged the pictures in a 11 x 14 frame.  I grouped my most important goal of Family in the middle, and circled the other 4 important areas around the outside.  Once I had all of my pictures on, and all the space filled and the paper framed I hung it beside my bed where I look at it multiple times a day.

Some of the dreams I have on my Vision Board were simple, like drinking water, continuing boot camp and focusing on my family.  Others are dreams I hope to see in the near future, like a nicer body, more career opportunities and improved health.  I also included goals and dreams I have for 20 years down the road, like places to travel, a mortgage free life.   Staring at this board everyday reminds me of what is important, it keeps me motivated and every time I accomplish one of the dreams/goals on my vision board I am reaffirmed that the focus is working.

Although I don't see the  need to re create my board in the immediate future, I do re evaluate my goals at least every 6 months.  For those dreams I have realized I check them off and fill them in with something new.   For the goals that haven't been achieved, I alter them and make suggestions that put myself on track to completion.  Ever since I have hung my board beside my bed I feel a little bit more on track, a little more organized and like I may actually have control over my life!

If you are interested in putting a focus into your life, to examine what is important to you and to set your future in motion according to your desires, then take some time to check out one or two of the  Vision Board articles on the Internet. The idea is quite simple and you will be amazed how quickly you will see your dreams come true.

Start today.  What defines you?  What do you want to accomplish?  What would you do with your life if the sky was the limit?

Music...Feel it!

There is nothing worse than a bad mood that won't pass, a crappy attitude that follows you through the day or an overwhelming feeling of sadness.  When life has you down there is no easier way to shift the mood then with the right music.

I've used music for most of my life to shove my emotions into, and to sing my issues away.   A solid playlist can take anger down to a simmer, a crappy attitude to optimism and sadness to a sense of peace.  I currently have a few playlists on my phone exactly for that reason.  When I'm angry the list includes songs that verify my anger and slowly simmer me down to a sense of calmness.  When I'm sad the songs allow me to belt out my sadness and work my way up to upbeat happy songs.  When I'm lazy, the playlist provides me upbeat, dance along kind of songs to get me rejuvenated and happy.

One of the best things we have worked hard to incorporate into the kids lives is an appreciation of music.  The kids beg for the music to be louder, they both love to sing and dance.  In fact, I've learned over time that I shouldn't attempt to wake my children up in the morning.  All I really need to do is get up, crank the party tunes and hit the shower.  By the time I'm out of the shower the kids are up, getting dressed and dancing.  We don't fight in the morning, we dance our way to the kitchen for breakfast and hit the morning with happiness!

Music and my children are two things that can always bring me out of a bad mood.  The best thing is when the two combine and teach me something important.  I'm suggesting the next time you are feeling down and out, blast the tunes and take a page out of Maddux's book...Sing and Dance Like No One is Watching!

Build a Better You

In a society filled with self improvement products, beauty enhancements and fad diets, it is no wonder that most women have self confidence issues.  On a daily basis we are bombarded by advertisements detailing all the parts of our bodies we should hate...our hair, our skin, the shape of our body, our breast size, our cellulite...in fact, based on the messages, there isn't a part of our bodies we shouldn't attempt to fix!

As if this message wasn't bad enough, many times, time spent with others is a constant reminder that we are full of imperfections.  Diet discussions, comparing exercise routines and sharing beauty tips and tricks may seem innocent enough, but all to often these just serve as a reminder that we need to change.  These common topics leave us feeling like we haven't done enough, or that changing habits and behaviours are helpless.

Along my journey I have tried very hard to keep a positive attitude and to be proud of my successes.  It is very frustrating that even when I reach a goal, it never truly makes me happy, I always want more! I went from a women who wanted to lose a few pounds and feel healthier, to an exercise addict who expects change on a constant basis.  I went from reading magazines that promote weight loss for the lazy to health magazines for women who are looking to work hard to change their shape.  The most frustrating part of this for me was opening these "health magazines" with pictures of physically fit, health conscious women and seeing advertisements beside them for performance enhances, supplements and fads for the fit.  What kind of message is being sent?  

As a teacher, I really wish I could teach a self confidence class to teenagers.  A class that focuses on individual beauty, a class that teaches girls how to place an emphasis on their best qualities, a class that teaches girls it is amazing to be unique.  Imagine your life today if someone taught you how to be confident and full of self love.  Imagine if the only person you compared yourself to was the you from yesterday!

Run Like the Wind...or without getting Winded.

When I was a kid I was envious of all the other kids that could run around the playground for hours on end.  Twenty five steps and I was was out, severely winded and with legs that felt like jelly.

When I was in grade 5 I remember signing up to run the 1500m, only two of us attempted it.  I was proud of myself for even putting myself out there even though I had to run/walk the entire way.  In Grade 7 and 8 the 12-minute mile was a love/hate relationship.  I would run slowly at the back of the class, happy to be moving my legs steadily one in front of the other, until I was lapped by the speed demons, the kids who not only could run forever, but fast too!  Although by high school I no longer had to perform any type of running motion I was envious of those who could and did.  By the time I was in my twenties I joked that someday I would be a runner, it was the dream that I thought I would never see happen.

Once I joined Bootcamp and I had no choice but to run I decided to attempt my dream.  As the block became easier, the weather got warmer and my iPhone became the love of my life, I decided to take the big step.  I purchased the Couch to 5K app and changed my life.  The success I felt after every run, a little farther each day, a little faster each week, supplied me with the desire to continue.

Although my pace is still on the slow side, I can run for miles without getting winded, without my legs feeling like jelly, and with a sense peace.  I spent the summer improving my 5k run and successfully completed my first 5km race 6 months after I set my goal to take the step and become a runner.

Now I look forward to the me time I get on a run, the satisfaction of achieving small goals on a regular basis and the confirmation that my body can do anything I put my mind to.  I not only found something I enjoy, I developed a new habit...one I don't want to break!